This highly-unlikely tale of valor blah blah blah features the slapstick comedy of three wacky dudes who never manage to realize how frigging big China is and decide they want the whole slab of cheese for their respective selves. Romance of the Three Kingdoms ( Simplified Chinese: 爆笑三国演义 Traditional Chinese: 爆笑三國豔義 Pinyin: Sān Guó Yǎn Yì, also known as Little Ditty 'Bout Three Kingdoms) is an accurately histor-iffic Chinese epic loosely based on the Japanese video game franchise, Dynasty Warriors, and Hollywood's Jackie Chan blockbuster, Rumble in the Bronx. Much of the thirty-first chapter revolves around Liu Bei's absurd claim that he had 'called dibs' on the yellow patch.